Blue Falcon
In 2001 or 2002 M.C. Robot wrote this rap about my P2P media delivery company. I figured I should put it up for all to enjoy.
The B to the F to the N y’all
representing layer three of the stack, y’all
Traversal is the way that we cut through your NAT, cuz universal plug and play doesn’t handle that
all you app layer suckers better drop the SOAP cos’ we got the layer three which is the straight dope
Your gui’s aint shit cuz we roll our own skins- When you step to BFN that’s when your hurt begins:
- your shit ain’t even beta
- you’re a media playa hata
- your dot net frontin’ makes you ship much lata
learn the rules, bitch and use your tools bitch because we’re dropping a load
with our unmanaged code on your business plan and your .NET scam
your C is sharp but your skills are flat cuz our code is old school like a backwards hat
So to you .NET bitches and you web service ho’s, your window of opportunity is comin’ to a close
we’ll source route your packets to the DOJ when we rewrap sockets and we take your pay
You ask “why, are we hatin’ on your skills?”
and we say “why, ‘cuz we’re paying our bills with YOUR customers
and that’s why you’re crying ‘cuz our biz dev team is out there lying…
I meant laying, a trap for y’all because your chump ass tech is headed for a fall…
You’re peer to peer - you’re so last year - this distributed code is f@$king up your ears -
Our vaporware condenses inside the bhong
that our coders smoke while we’re pumping this song
and reveal the release date far beyond–
any hope you’ll respond and it won’t be long
before we recruit your best staff
and bankrupt your execs and tool ‘em and laugh…
So don’t step to us and don’t compete with us and don’t challenge us or you’ll get beat by us.
We’re givin’ you the static that you didn’t expect
cuz our code commands unconditional respect
so step off and get lost before your companies wrecked by:
- our pimp bottom line,
- our internet crime,
- our freeloading sucker-punching new paradigm.
We’re a fierce f@#king blue f*#king bird of prey
and your sucker MBAs just don’t know how to play
we can see you make a move from five miles away
and our strategy team swoops down and you’re food today
You see we don’t take kindly to competition
our execs are on an executive mission
to optimize internet transmission
and you’re out of commission
on a road to perdition
so go back to stealth mode while we take your position.
The views above may be those of my former employer but the mode of expression is probably not.
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